This past week I’ve felt about as useful as a surgeon with broken fingers.  Or Peyton Manning wearing a shoulder sling.  Totally useless, and unable to do what I do.  For two days last week I was in bed with a yucky viral infection that morphed into horrible congestion that took away my ability to speak.  Vocal production, gone.  Singing ability, awful. Enter note-pad communication and plenty of snapping to get my kids’ attention.  My sweet husband has been so patient and awesome throughout this whole ordeal, but this week has shown quite an interesting change of dynamics in our household.  During this forced period of silence, I’ve been unable to do pretty much everything that I call my job:

 

  1. -Leading worship: I had to back out of leading with Ben, and then for our preschoolers in TreeHouse I had no choice but to channel Milli Vanilli like it was hot.

  2. -Studio fun: I had to cancel my BGV session with my buddy Sam.  Such a bummer because being in the studio is like being a kid on Christmas for me.  Every time.

  3. -Piano lessons: granted, I could’ve gone the note-pad route but when people are paying me in time increments, I’m not going to waste it by writing out instructions for them to have to decipher.

  4. -Choir rehearsals: now this one actually worked well, thanks to the sound system that our awesome tech guys set-up for me.  I squeaked into the mic, and the kids were fabulous.  Said methodology might remain.

 

All that said, this sound of silence has been wonderful and really, just what I’ve needed.  It has forced me to listen more, to sit quietly, to wait on my kids or husband better, and mostly to be attentive to the horrible reality that I could handle a lot more silence in my life. The un-welcomed solitude of five nights in the guest room has gotten me reacquainted with my prayer journal and those books I’ve been meaning to finish.  I took the opportunity to sit at the piano and just play it.  Didn’t sing along.  Just played, prayed, and listened.

 

I’m grateful for my voice, and for the opportunities God has given me to use it.  But this past week has also made me grateful for its absence.  The sound of silence; unexpected but so welcomed.

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